The Wrath of Con

by Possible Oscar

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about

The first full-length album from Possible Oscar is the perfect blend of comedy, rock and hip hop. Buying a copy might save a child’s life.

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released March 2, 2007

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about

Possible Oscar Minneapolis, Minnesota

Possible Oscar is a Minneapolis, MN based comedy rock act that specializes in original and parody songs. Their musical topics range from video games to nerd love, with stops at comic books and notable Hollywood movie sound effects. Possible Oscar’s sound is two great tastes that taste great together; they usually play rock music, but sometimes a little hip hop is in order. ... more

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Track Name: At the Con
Making your way up to the registration
Hoping they don’t confiscate your Logan’s Run gun
The hotel staff really seems impressed
They’ve never seen Zardoz fully dressed
Just don’t go to that secret floor
Strange goings-on behind that door
What the heck, you only live once
And your friends will be talking about it for months

What happens at the con, stays at the con
That’s all the information you need
Come Monday morning they’ll forget what went on
Strange goings on indeed

Over there that’s Megatron
Taking a whiz on the hotel lawn
Wonder Woman’s up on the balcony
Flashing her goods for everybody to see
And there in the corner she sits
Tank Girl drunk in her Alphabits
Vader took a swing at a tusken raider
Who took a nasty fall down the escalator

What happens at the con, stays at the con
It’s really not supposed to make sense
Come Monday morning they’ll forget what went on
Debauchery and decadence

Where else would you go
To see Sailor Moon in the hot tub with Frodo

Go in that room, you’ve got nothing to lose
That’s where the Romulans keep the booze
Two parts tequila, one part lemonade
It makes for a pretty fun masquerade
Walking down the hall and feeling pretty high
I think I’ll go give DDR a try
Stumble on the squares, oops, taking a fall
Wait, how did I end up back out in the hall

What happens at the con, stays at the con
That’s all the information you need
Come Monday morning they’ll forget what went on
Strange goings on indeed

What happens at the con, stays at the con
It’s really not supposed to make sense
Come Monday morning they’ll forget what went on
Debauchery and decadence
Track Name: Raking the Lawn
There I was relaxed and watching
Football on TV
Once again she starts insisting
That I deal with all those leaves
How can I enjoy the game If I go outside?
She tells me to move my ass
Or they’ll be no action tonight

Raking the lawn, raking the lawn (x4)

So much for my lazy Sunday
I start to complain
My fantasy team will struggle
If I don’t watch every game
She says, “Dear, I just have
One more task for you
While you’re out there would you mind
Cleaning the gutters too?”

Raking the lawn, raking the lawn (x4)

You don’t know what it’s like!

Raking the lawn, raking the lawn (x8)
Track Name: Grammar Police
Grammar police
Arrest this nerd
She often fails
To conjugate a verb
Her sentence tense is always wrong

Grammar police
Arrest this geek
His clauses stink
His adverb use is weak
He’s dangling his participle

This is a sentence
Know the predicate
Follows the subject
And contains a verb

Grammar police
Apostrophes confound
They can’t be used
To pluralize a noun
They show possession, omission

Learn your alphabet
Don’t trust your spell check
“Their” will pass the test
When you meant “they are”

I before E
Except after C, except after C
I before E
Except after C, except after C

I before E
Except after C, except after C
I before E
Except after C, except after C
Track Name: Wolverine
Your story was teased in Hulk 180
Then 181 your tale had begun
Those big hairy arms, you can’t be harmed
Smoke cigars, you’re short on charm
Adamantium claws and skeleton
Named Logan, Canadian
Your secret past, you have no clue
The best that there is at what you do

Don’t let your rage grow high
Wolverine, Wolverine

You joined with a team, Giant-Size X-men 1
Written by Wein, art by Cockrum
Cyclops in the lead, a new team revealed
Storm rode the wind, Colossus skin turned to steel
Nightcrawler had skill to relocate
Although Banshee tried, could not change Thunderbird’s fate

Don’t let your rage grow high
Seem to be always in a fight
With foes like Reavers and Alpha Flight
Seem to keep young girls by your side
Like Jubilee and Kitty Pryde
Wolverine, Wolverine
Don’t let your rage grow high
Wolverine
Don’t let your rage grow high

Wolverine, Wolverine
Wolverine, Wolverine

Bloodlust Sabretooth
Bloodlust Sabretooth
As he tries to kill you

They printed you more, soon we wanted you less
Could not miss your likeness
Celebrity sold toys, cartoons and films
Well I might buy that new Wolverine grill

Don’t let your rage grow high
Seem to be always in a fight, fight, fight
Wolverine, Wolverine
Wolverine, Wolverine
Track Name: Dead Nintendo
Dead Nintendo, why won’t you work like you ought to
There’s one reason I bought you, for Mario Bros.
Oh, your design flaw is that spring-loaded compartment
I blew on the cartridge but the game still won’t load

There’s no saving Princess Zelda, now
She’s captured by King Ganon
You know the Triforce won’t be found if you don’t start

I can fight the mighty Metroids
Samus’ right hand is a cannon
But that power goes to waste if my screen’s dark

Dead Nintendo, oh Castlevania’s waiting
I’m hoping and praying, this kit does the trick
And Punch Out, oh Punch Out, well I can’t wait to be champion
I’ll challenge Mike Tyson just as soon as you’re fixed

If I find at times that I can’t survive
The secret code gives me 30 lives
It’s hard to save the world without your help
Your flashing light demands reboot
Do you think those ducks are going to shoot themselves?

Dead Nintendo, why do you choose to forsake me
You’re this close to making me throw you away
I’m fairly angry, so there’s just one thing you can do
You better let somebody play you (Let somebody play you)
You better let somebody play you, before it’s trash day
Track Name: Earn Hollywood Earn
WYNGARDE: Have you seen the latest box office numbers?

ALL: (grumbling)

LUKE SKI: Our revenue has been trending down for years now.

BUD: It certainly isn’t the quality of our product.

DEVO SPICE: Piracy is killing us.

LUKE SKI: So how do we reverse the trend?

DEVO SPICE: We could try telling good stories again.

ALL: (laughing)

WYNGARDE: Seriously though, We should continue to make movies that feel familiar and appeal to the broadest possible audience. Any suggestions?

Earn Hollywood earn our revenue is going down
Need a hit that will not bomb
So let’s remake a movie
Update a classic film just to prove we
Can take an old idea and just revise
The plot and characters how we like
Cause all we care about is not selling out
And front-loading the box office roll out
So we’d never stick our necks out
On films no test audience checked out
Hollywood or wood chuck wood
How much would you chuck just to make a buck
But some films we’ll never remake (haha)
There’s no limit to what we’ll take
For all the years we worked so hard
The work is over, time to steal with no regard

Earn Hollywood earn (repeated)

That film is due for a sequel
Just flip the script a bit and it’ll do well
A fresh idea would be unwise
We’ll make two or three and create a franchise
Similar plot and cast would be safe
Tell the same story in a different place
Blockbuster box office just like the other
Don’t mind the critics (*cha-ching*) another buck, er…

As I channel surf from Nick at Nite to TV Land
Thinkin’ how hard can it be to adapt
One of these classic TV shows
Of Darrens or Ralphs, Lukes and Bos
Many would pay and cheer with glee
To see their favorite show up on the screen
All you really need to do is change thing or two
Shoot the whole thing like a damn music video
And old actors of shows adapted
As for playin’ the lead part, not gonna happen
For what they play cameo is the perfect role
Even if since they’ve gotten old
So let’s steal some ideas from old works
Seems the best way to keep jobs and perks
There’s nothing that we can’t regurgitate to earn
Earn Hollywood earn

Earn Hollywood earn (repeated)

WYNGARDE: Now we’re considering you to take part in the writing of our next film. How do feel about writing situational comedy?

MARSHALL: Yeah, I’m interested. You mean something like Harold Ramis or Woody Allen, right?

WYNGARDE: Well, it’s a feature adaptation of Perfect Strangers starring Ben Stiller and Owen Wilson

MARSHALL: Uh… Say what?

BUD: Hey, hey, hey, We need to brainstorm ideas for our next feature. What do you got?

LUKE SKI: I think we should return Blue Thunder to the big screen

DEVO SPICE: What about Apocalypse Later?

LUKE SKI: I know, we can update Dr. Strangelove and cast Steve Martin!

BUD: Knot’s Landing could be a feature. Keep the 80s style and sensibilities and juxtapose them with the modern world!

DEVO SPICE: Hold on, I’ve got it!

ANNOUNCER: Ladies and Gentlemen. Tonight’s feature presentation, Welcome Back Kotter

EVERYONE: (clapping, ad libbed self-congratulatory remarks)

LUKE SKI: I love Hollywood, man.
Track Name: The Blog Song
What’s filled with posts of merit but mostly
Crap or a pic of my dog?
I plead my case at an hourly pace
My blog, blog, blog!

My blog, blog, opinions can change every week
My blog, blog, anonymous Internet geek
Everyone loves my blog!
Bookmark and save my blog!
Comment and feed my blog!
Everyone read my blog! (Gotta update my blog!)
Everyone loves my blog!
Track Name: My Figuas
Just cause I love my figuas (hands to yourself, pal)
I spend cash for my figuas (go buy us some new friends)
Add another shelf for my figuas (can we get a hot tub too?)
All I wanna see is right here my figuas (we’re gonna need that extra bedroom)

You won’t take them from me baby!
You will not take them from me baby!
Ya know grrrrr

(My figuas) some figuas look all constipated
(My figuas) some figuas are articulated
(My figuas) from sci-fi properties represent
(My figuas) Star Trek (My figuas) Star Wars
(My figuas) come battle-ready striking a pose
(My figuas) use giant guns to vanquish all foes
(My figuas) have facial scars and changeable clothes
(My figuas) are bold (My figuas) so hot
(My figuas) combine to form a giant robot
(My figuas) have a cartoon where nobody gets shot
(My figuas) transform but they’re never Go-bots
(My figuas) are not (My figuas) unharmed
(My figuas) are mostly kept sealed mint on the card
(My figuas) make finding storage space rather hard
(My figuas) I had to build a shed in the yard
(My figuas) so far (My figuas) no fun
(My figuas) take up half of my weekly income
(My figuas) are a sickness that I suffer from
(My figuas) cause women to walk and then run
(My figuas) they run (My figuas) away (My figuas)
Track Name: Talk Nerdy to Me
You know I never
I never had much luck with girls
They never like to read and learn
But I like to
And if I could figure out
The cosine of your heart
That’d be a good start
Oh yes it would

I never
I never try to date offline
Use algorithms built to find
My Seven of Nine
So if you look half as great
As Aeryn on Farscape
You’ll be my first mate

Cause baby we’ll be
In the chat room
On the IRC
Out at the Big Con
Star Trek costume for me
Down in the dungeon
Role play D&D
And baby
Talk nerdy to me

You know I dress up
Like Jedi Knights or Klingon guys
My phaser gun is set to fry
I’ll be your fanboy
And my Starfleet uniform
It matches the one worn
By Leonard Nimoy

Cause baby we’ll be
In the chat room
On the IRC
Out at the Big Con
Star Trek costume for me
Down in the dungeon
Role play D&D
And baby
Talk nerdy to me

PC, pick up that keytar and talk to me

*Solo*

Cause baby we’ll be
In the chat room
On the IRC
Out at the Big Con
Star Trek costumes for you and me
Down in the dungeon
And role play D&D
And baby, talk nerdy to me, yeah
And baby, talk nerdy to me, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
And baby ya know
Talk nerdy to me

(That’s the way I like it, baby)
Track Name: Never Gonna Beat This Boss
I’ve been playing too long
Just beat this level, then off to bed
The sun is rising at the crack of dawn
I need a save point before my session ends
Holy crap this boss looks like a mountain
There’s no weakness I can see

Never gonna beat this boss
Never gonna win this game
Never gonna find a way to defeat him
Never gonna shoot his head
Never gonna make him dead
Never gonna have the health to beat him

Unleash my weapon on full charge
He moans and cowers
But doesn’t lose his power
Perhaps I need to strike from higher ground
Feel like I’ve fought this beast for an hour
Just as I sight his flashing weak-point
He turns and runs the other way

Never gonna beat this boss
Never gonna win this game
Never gonna find a way to defeat him
Never gonna shoot his head
Never gonna make him dead
Never gonna have the health to beat him

Never gonna beat this boss
Never gonna win this game
Never gonna find find the pattern to fight him
Never gonna frag his brain
Never gonna use grenades
Never gonna find a way to smite him

(Ooo… beat this boss)
(Ooo… win this game)

Never gonna beat, never gonna beat
(Beat this boss)

Never gonna win, never gonna win
(Win this game)

I think I’ve got it figured out
If he can see me
He’ll stop and fire his green beam
And at that moment I can run around
Attack his knees and his fleshy inseam
Time to make my move and slay this creature
[death sfx] Didn’t see that laser mine

Never gonna beat this boss
Never gonna win this game
Never gonna find a way to defeat him
Never gonna shoot his head
Never gonna make him dead
Never gonna have the health to beat him

Never gonna beat this boss
Never gonna win this game
Never gonna find find the pattern to fight him
Never gonna frag his brain
Never gonna use grenades
Never gonna find a way to smite him
Track Name: Hayden Christensen
Hayden Christensen you’re in Star Wars
And you try the dark side of the force
To save, Padme

Jedi council will grant you a seat
But not the rank of master that you seek
To be, you plead

You’re murdering
Jedi by the bunch
There’s no time for a lunch
They should have had a hunch

Palpatine’s a dark lord of the Sith
He says his power will fulfill your wish
To save, Padme

Hayden Christensen on Mustafar
Battle sword to sword with Obi-Wan
In turn, you burn

You’re murdering
Sand People at night
Their heads roll side to side
They took your mother’s life

You’re murdering
Separatist in stride
The dark side is your guide
You’re rage will not subside

You’re murdering
Jedi by the bunch
There’s no time for a lunch
They should have had a hunch

You’re murdering
Jedi far and wide
The dark side is your guide
You’re rage will not subside

Hayden Christensen you’re in Star Wars
And you try the dark side of the force
To save, Padme
But you’re murdering
Yeah (hold), murdering
Track Name: The Room Party Song
PATRON 1: Hey dude, how’s it going man?
PATRON 2: All right.
PATRON 1: It’s been a while, man. A whole year! This con’s my favorite. Don’t you love it?
PATRON 2: Yeah.
PATRON 1: Aw man, you staying here?
PATRON 2: Yeah.
PATRON 1: Aw man, this is the best. It’s so cool to see everyone in costume and stuff. That one’s great.
PATRON 2: Yeah.
PATRON 1: Hey, do you gonna check out my room party tomorrow night?
PATRON 2: All right.
PATRON 1: Aw man, it’s gonna be the best. This is so awesome! Take it easy man.

Weekend begins
Redo my room
Into Tatoo-
Ine Cantina

If you want to check out my party
Opens after the masquerade

PATRON 3: Hey, what’s up?
PATRON 2: I dunno.
PATRON 3: Did you see that new room party?
PATRON 2: Yeah.
PATRON 3: Um, I think I’m gonna go back later. They’re having a DDR contest. Wanna come with?

At night, packed tight
It’s hot as hell
Weird smell, free food
Free booze, and I yell

If you want to check out my party
Opens after the masquerade (after masquerade)
Eat chips and candy, and drink blue liquid
Prizes on the hour (prizes on the hour)
We’ll have some fun

If you want to check out my party
Opens after the masquerade (after masquerade)
Eat chips and candy, and drink blue liquid
Prizes on the hour (prizes on the hour)
We’ll have some fun

If you want to come by the hotel
Let’s hang out at the masquerade
It’s good to see you standing there in your Superman costume
Prizes on the hour (prizes on the hour)
Let’s have some fun

Free booze, free booze
Free booze, free booze
Track Name: Captain Mal (Aiming to Misbehave)
Standing on the bridge is Captain Reynolds
Wash will fly the ship to the ground
Jayne wants his grenades, Captain Mal vetos
Zoe indicates we’ll burglarize, not occupy

Job is going down until the Reavers
Descend into the town, terrorizing
Mule is given chase, faster is better
Missing the grenades, against them all fights Captain Mal

4…3…2…1…
Verse beyond us
keep on flying
Soaring reckless
This boat is my home…

Settling the job, they land in Beaumonde
Kaylee has a want, “I can’t know that”
River knocks out Jayne and several others
Trigger flipped her brain, the tale is told, never gets old

Contact Mr. Verse, can’t stop the signal
Miranda is the word, secret broadwave
Lost without a trace, the hidden planet
Fly through Reaver space with damaged ship, “I mean to live”

4…3…2…1…
Verse beyond us
keep on flying
Soaring reckless
This boat is my home…

A planet bathed in light, a secret message
“We meant it for the best…”, then blood and gore

Speech from Captain Mal, the time is coming
Reveal the truth to all in the ‘Verse
You all got on this boat for different reasons
I’m asking for support, with this I aim to misbehave

Verse beyond us
keep on flying
Soaring reckless
This boat’s my home…

Verse beyond us
keep on flying
Soaring reckless
This boat’s my home…

Verse beyond us
keep on flying
Soaring reckless
This boat is my home…
Home…..