Individual Results May Vary cover art
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about

A parody of “All Out of Love” (Clive Davis, Graham Russell) by Air Supply.

Hosting a party can be a rewarding experience – except when you run out of something vital. Suddenly your friends turn on you, and all you want to do is cuddle up in bed with a vintage Care Bear and issues 4-18 of the G.I. Joe comic book. This is a tale of a party gone wrong.

lyrics

It’s 8:53 on a Saturday night
Drinking a few with our friends
Meatballs were a hit, hope you liked the Chex mix
The Tupperware kept them fresh

There’s only one thing that could ruin the mood
And temper the mirth of this day
The amount that we bought, wasn’t nearly enough
In the end what I’m trying to say, what I’m trying to say

We’re all out of beer, the coolers are empty
You don’t have to leave, there’s plenty of soda
We’re all out of beer, yes even the cheap stuff
You drank it too fast, sobriety won’t last long

It seems that a few of you shoulder the blame
Consumed more than most of the room
I’m talking to you, Steve, you drank 42
I expect that you’ll drop dead soon

STEVE (drunkenly): Pffft! I don’t even (body falling sound)

Now, Larry, I find your behavior uncouth
It’s time to pull up your jeans
And, Susan, it’s clear you can’t handle your beer
So much for your dignity, dignity

We’re all out of beer, the coolers are empty
You don’t have to leave, charades can be so fun
We’re all out of beer, yes even the cheap stuff
You drank it too fast, sobriety won’t last long

Ooh, who’s up for a beer run?
Who’s up for a beer run?
Who’s up for a beer run?
Who’s up for a beer run?

GUY ONE: You! You tard! This is YOUR party!

GUY TWO: Yeah! And make it quick! Buzz… fading…

We’re all out of beer, the coolers are empty
You don’t have to leave, there’s plenty of soda
We’re all out of beer, yes even the cheap stuff
You drank it too fast, sobriety’s long gone

We’re all out of beer, the coolers are empty
You don’t have to leave, charades can be so fun
We’re all out of beer, yes even the cheap stuff
You drank it too fast, sobriety’s long gone

We’re all out of beer, the coolers are empty
So pack up your shit, you ungrateful assholes
We’re all out of beer, yes even the cheap stuff
We told you to leave, now get the hell out of our home

We’re all out of beer, the coolers are empty
We told you to leave…

credits

from Individual Results May Vary, released 03 July 2010

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