Individual Results May Vary

by Possible Oscar

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05:10
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04:47
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credits

released July 3, 2010

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Possible Oscar Minneapolis, Minnesota

Possible Oscar is a Minneapolis, MN based comedy rock act that specializes in original and parody songs. Their musical topics range from video games to nerd love, with stops at comic books and notable Hollywood movie sound effects. Possible Oscar’s sound is two great tastes that taste great together; they usually play rock music, but sometimes a little hip hop is in order. ... more

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Track Name: Rock is FTW!
Finally your boss gave you that raise
Celebrate at Nye’s Polonaise
Buying drinks for the house until 10pm
But now you got to go to work early
That’s not the way it should be (no no!)
All the action is at the bar singing drunk karaoke
Because…

Work is for the weak, Rock is for the win!
Rockin’ through the week, rockin’ while drinkin’
Work is for the weak, Rock is for the win!
If Rock was all it took, then let the rock begin!

Lose the tie and grow out your hair
Stand on your desk in your underwear
Tell all your co-workers that Rock n’ Roll is your master now
Screw the bills and the mortgage too
For Rock and Roll it’s the least you can do
Borrow money from your mom and dad and buy a megaphone
And shout…

Work is for the weak, Rock is for the win!
Rockin’ through the week, rockin’ while drinkin’
Work is for the weak, Rock is for the win!
If Rock was all it took, then let the rock begin!

Individual results may vary

Work is for the weak, Rock is for the win!
Rockin’ through the week, rockin’ while drinkin’
Work is for the weak, Rock is for the win!
If Rock was all it took, then let the rock begin!
Track Name: Press Start to Continue
Press start to continue
Drop that quarter in
Reload that old save file
Begin again

Attacked the boss and met a tragic fate
Reload, reload
Can’t find my way around this maze
Reload, reload
No repercussions in a video game
If only life could be the same

Press start to continue
Drop that quarter in
Reload that old save file
Begin again

Bought all my films on BetaMax
Reload, reload
My plasma screen is hung with tacks
Reload, reload
My online date was a perfect fit
But now I can’t relieve this itch

Press start to continue
Drop that quarter in
Reload that old save file
Begin again

I messed up real bad
Time for a new chance
Rewind and redo
For the win!

I told my boss what I really think
Reload, reload
He had me transferred to Beijing
Reload, reload
I’ll make the best of this I guess
At least the Chinese food is fresh

Press start to continue
Drop that quarter in
Reload that old save file
Begin again
(repeat)
Track Name: How We Recycle
Time to write another hit song
We have a formula for tune creation
Chord progression from the last song
Some lyrics vaguely ’bout a bad relation-
Ship, this is how we recycle
This is how we recycle
Every song that we make
This is how we recycle
Every song that we make

Same song, same sound
Resembles every song that we’ve put out
Why bother trying new things?
(So far nobody has noticed)
Same song, same notes
A different song would be harder to promote
This gives us more time to drink

We employ a stock arrangement
The ever-present soft and loud dynamic
A guitar alone and plaintive
The power chorded chorus sounds gigantic
And this is how we recycle
Every song that we make
This is how we recycle
Every song that we make

Same song, same sound
Resembles every song that we’ve put out
Why bother trying new things?
(So far nobody has noticed)
Same song, same notes
A different song would be harder to promote
This gives us more time to drink
(So far nobody has noticed)

*breakdown*

Chord progression from the last song
Some lyrics vaguely ’bout a bad relation-
Ship, this is how we recycle
This is how we recycle
This is how we recycle
Every song that we make
This verse sounds like the first one
Only took us one take

Same song, same sound
Resembles every song that we’ve put out
Why bother trying new things?
(So far nobody has noticed)
Same song, same notes
A different song would be harder to promote
This gives us more time to drink
(So far nobody has noticed)
Thank goodness nobody thinks
(So far nobody has noticed)
Too bad as artists we stink
Track Name: All Out of Beer
It’s 8:53 on a Saturday night
Drinking a few with our friends
Meatballs were a hit, hope you liked the Chex mix
The Tupperware kept them fresh

There’s only one thing that could ruin the mood
And temper the mirth of this day
The amount that we bought, wasn’t nearly enough
In the end what I’m trying to say, what I’m trying to say

We’re all out of beer, the coolers are empty
You don’t have to leave, there’s plenty of soda
We’re all out of beer, yes even the cheap stuff
You drank it too fast, sobriety won’t last long

It seems that a few of you shoulder the blame
Consumed more than most of the room
I’m talking to you, Steve, you drank 42
I expect that you’ll drop dead soon

STEVE (drunkenly): Pffft! I don’t even (body falling sound)

Now, Larry, I find your behavior uncouth
It’s time to pull up your jeans
And, Susan, it’s clear you can’t handle your beer
So much for your dignity, dignity

We’re all out of beer, the coolers are empty
You don’t have to leave, charades can be so fun
We’re all out of beer, yes even the cheap stuff
You drank it too fast, sobriety won’t last long

Ooh, who’s up for a beer run?
Who’s up for a beer run?
Who’s up for a beer run?
Who’s up for a beer run?

GUY ONE: You! You tard! This is YOUR party!

GUY TWO: Yeah! And make it quick! Buzz… fading…

We’re all out of beer, the coolers are empty
You don’t have to leave, there’s plenty of soda
We’re all out of beer, yes even the cheap stuff
You drank it too fast, sobriety’s long gone

We’re all out of beer, the coolers are empty
You don’t have to leave, charades can be so fun
We’re all out of beer, yes even the cheap stuff
You drank it too fast, sobriety’s long gone

We’re all out of beer, the coolers are empty
So pack up your shit, you ungrateful assholes
We’re all out of beer, yes even the cheap stuff
We told you to leave, now get the hell out of our home

We’re all out of beer, the coolers are empty
We told you to leave…
Track Name: Sundae Chocolate Sundae
I’m trying to get a DQ treat
But everyone else has the very same idea

How long…
How long will this line go on?
How long? How long…

It’s so hot!
Will I get some ice cream, or not?

Brownie Earthquakes and Banana Splits
Blizzards mixed with fruit and candy bits
But I just want a simple cup
It’s soft serve ice cream
Soft serve ice cream with sauce on top

Sundae chocolate sundae
Sundae chocolate sundae
Sundae chocolate sundae (sundae chocolate sundae)
(Come on, let’s go!)

Will I ever taste my dream?
My chocolate encrusted soft ice cream
Why are they paying one by one?
Why can’t they have one person make the transaction?

Sundae chocolate sundae
Sundae chocolate sundae

How long…
How long will this line go on?
How long? How long…

It’s so hot!
Will I get my ice cream, or not?
So hot, so hot (sundae chocolate sundae)
So hot, so hot (sundae chocolate sundae)
(I want one!)

Wipe the drool from my mouth
Wipe my drool away
Wipe my drool away
I wipe my drool away (sundae chocolate sundae)
I wipe my drool-soaked chin (sundae chocolate sundae)
Sundae chocolate sundae (sundae chocolate sundae)
Sundae chocolate sundae (sundae chocolate sundae)
(here I come!)

Moving forth at greater speed
What could permit this surging sugar-crazed stampede?
They’ve opened up another line (sundae chocolate sundae)
Dairy delirium will shortly be mine (sundae chocolate sundae)
Cooling my esophagus (sundae chocolate sundae)
I’ll need some napkins for the mess (sundae chocolate sundae)

Sundae chocolate sundae
Sundae chocolate sundae
Track Name: That Calls for a Wilhelm Scream
The legend starts in 1951
When we listened to the sound of the Distant Drums
Met his maker in the jaws of an alligator
There were six screams taken but one proved to be greater than the rest
So let’s fast forward a bit to the Feather River
And meet a young private with the lungs that could deliver
The kind of cry that only girls vocalize
He unleashed a mighty scream as his thigh was incised
Ben Burtt, perhaps you may have heard of him
He noticed a certain sound emanating from a bunch of films
Decided it was perfect for a film that he made
So he lifted it and placed it in The Scarlet Blade
From that point a sonic signature formed
One that Ben used fairly often in his sound design chores
To this very day if you happen by his edit bay
And you listen very closely you can hear him say

That calls for a Wilhelm Scream
That calls for a Wilhelm Scream
That calls for a Wilhelm Scream
Scream a little louder, gotta make a big scene

That calls for a Wilhelm Scream
That calls for a Wilhelm Scream
That calls for a Wilhelm Scream
Scream it to the heavens so they know what you mean

Over the years the scream has made many appearances
It sounded out in Warner Brothers films for 20 years and then
The aforementioned Ben created sounds for Star Wars
Take four began to show up in movies galore
A stormtrooper stumbled into a shaft because Luke shot him
Another was chucked into the freezing chamber by Chewbacca
Crocodiles enjoyed the Thuggees Indy knocked from the bridge
Jabba lost a bunch of henchmen in the Sarlac Pit
Mr. Pink smacked some people in the street
Buzz Lightyear met a lamp and tumbled head over feet
The Caped Crusader punched a clown a tossed him clear out the frame
Grenades exploded in The Last Crusade
There’s numerous other scenes featuring violence and tension
Young Indiana Jones has too many Wilhelms to mention
I bet the sound designers meet near to here
To figure out which films will get the scream this year

That calls for a Wilhelm Scream
That calls for a Wilhelm Scream
That calls for a Wilhelm Scream
Scream a little louder, gotta make a big scene

That calls for a Wilhelm Scream
That calls for a Wilhelm Scream
That calls for a Wilhelm Scream
Scream it like your lacking proper oral hygiene

Now don’t believe that the scream can only used on the screen
You can use it wherever you see a need
Got a problem that should probably have the proper punctuation?
Try a Wilhelm, it can emphasize any bad situation
That big jerk from accounting just stole your promotion
Your dinghy’s leaking in the middle of the ocean
That eBay idiot gave you negative feedback
And the money you gave that bum was converted to crack
The lid can’t be extracted from your Jell-o pudding cup
It’s hard to surf for porn efficiently stuck on dial-up
All you need is a knife but there’s 10,000 spoons
They’re making a Michael Bay film of your favorite cartoon
The Spanish Inquisition tries to burn you at the stake
Cavity Creeps gave you a toothache
The enemy force is just outside your archer’s range
That cell phone soccer mom didn’t signal her lane change
Gotta pee but the urinal’s unflushed
You find yourself in outer space lacking the right stuff
Frequent visits to the store net you nary a chase figure
You didn’t remember to TiVo the Heroes finale now, did you?
Invaders from space leveled all the major cities
There’s no more freakin’ milk for your bowl of Cocoa Krispies
Whenever it seems you’ve been given raw deal
It’s time to scream it like you mean it, let ‘em know how you feel

That calls for a Wilhelm Scream
That calls for a Wilhelm Scream
That calls for a Wilhelm Scream
Scream a little louder, gotta make a big scene

That calls for a Wilhelm Scream
That calls for a Wilhelm Scream
That calls for a Wilhelm Scream
Scream it like the doctors finally found a vaccine

That calls for a Wilhelm Scream
That calls for a Wilhelm Scream
That calls for a Wilhelm Scream
Scream a little louder, gotta make a big scene

That calls for a Wilhelm Scream
That calls for a Wilhelm Scream
That calls for a Wilhelm Scream
Scream it like you found out she was only sixteen
Track Name: You Pay, We Play
You pay, we play
That’s all it takes to get a song created for your next big hit
And it’s gonna cost a lot, a lot alotta of money (yeah)

You pay, we play
We can play any genre that you like
But it’s gonna cost you big, big money up front
Here’s the skill that could be working for you

We can funk it up
Get your groove on singing to the ladies in the front row
We can funk it up
Funny lyrics work better with a funky flow
Got to funk it up
Make the ladies in the front row forget about their fellas
We just funked it up
If the funk isn’t working out, we can add a little metal

Yeah!
Good old fashioned, down home devil’s metal
Kick you in the teeth, disobey your parents metal
Social outcast, make you pee your pants kind of metal

We can break it down now if you want us to
All you gotta do is ask
The strings come in between bars four and two
All you gotta do is ask
If you want to throw a sweeping solo in
We can drop it in right here

If you need a sad song
we can play those too
Something that will make you cry
Something that make you feel blue
And make the ladies swoon
Whoa-oo-whoa-oo-whoa-oo-whoa-oo-whoa
Come on ladies, let me see you swoon
Or do you prefer the metal?

Yeah!
Swoon, Swoon!

Lay down a funky beat to freestyle over

If you got the money, then we got the time
We’ll drop a beat perfectly crafted to bust a rhyme
An 808 kick to make the butts move
And syncopated hand claps facilitating the groove
Our sample-free jams are hot and guaranteed to please
Discounts are applied when you buy more than three
Or four, hell, why not get a baker’s dozen
You can use the extra beats to bake some blueberry muffins

You pay, we play
That’s all it takes to get a song created for your next big hit
And it’s gonna cost a lot, a lot alotta of money money

*cash money ad libs*

You pay, we play
We know it seems expensive at first
Unless you have a discount coupon, too late
Our stupendous savings offer expired last year

*more money ad libs*
Track Name: Dead Again
Rocket launcher, rail gun, BFG Nine Thousand One,
Never saw it coming and I never had a chance.
Bad enough being dead, Sub Zero pulled off my head,
Master Chief is doing his victory dance.

Lost Asia in Risk, Diablo burnt me to a crisp,
Even though I had the Godly Plate of the Whale.
Two pair, eights and kings, Sauron got the One Ring,
Getting dysentery on the Oregon Trail.

Harry Potter came up short dueling with Voldemort,
Elspeth Holliday met the Blair Witch.
Spider-Man showed such aplomb till he met that pumpkin bomb,
Mr. Incredible didn't throw the switch.

Cliff racers, cave bats, stupid frickin' giant rats,
Deadly pirahna poodles, or soldier ants,
You were eaten by a grue, Hah! The wumpus got you,
Nancy Drew and Scooby Doo teabagged in Halo 2.

Dead again,
Splattered all over a rendered killing floor,
Dead again,
Let me respawn and I'll be back for more,
Dead again,
Let me get to the checkpoint, then you can do your worst,
Dead again,
Then I'll reload but this time I'll shoot first.

My marble plummets from a height, should have rolled it to the right,
Jumped through lots of traffic but then fell off a log.
Russian cubes from the sky, and I let 'em stack too high,
Punched right off the screen by a humanoid frog.

T-rex got me, now I'm toast, chased down by a blinking ghost,
Landed on some spikes and dropped every last ring.
Bitten by a fanged slug, Jafar zapped my flying rug,
Trampled in a bog by a Barbarian King.

Mechanized war bots, Mudokan slingshots,
Centipede dropping a flea on my head.
Couldn't fly as Alfred Chicken, Duke Nukem kept on kickin',
Fought Guy of Gisborne with only some bread.

Skeletons hit me twice, dragon breath cased me in ice,
Couldn't line up all the jewels three in a row,
Shot up by Miami cops, beaten with karate chops,
Kept on missing platform hops, and the timer never stops.


Dead again,
How come these worlds have so many bottomless pits?
Dead again,
And everyone that I meet wants me blown to bits.
Dead again,
Reincarnation one byte at a time,
Dead again,
It's so embarassing to be killed by green slime.

Real life goes on until you're
Dead, or so I'm told,
Injury, catastrophe, or
Simply growing old
Fantasy's supposed to be where
You can find your dreams,
But all I find is game designers
Hooked on players' screams.

Smothered by a boa constrictor, drawn and quartered by a lich or
Eaten by a cat while dodging Beethoven's Fifth.
My flying ostrich drowned, monkeys thowing barrels down,
Torn apart by creatures out of legend and myth.

Zombies got a hold of Jill, nurses up in Silent Hill,
All those German snipers on the beach at Omaha.
Swallowed by the sand worms, infected by some nasty germs,
Didn't slap the leather when I heard him say, "DRAW!"

Running from Koala Kong, made a turn that's really wrong,
Sephiroth's supernova fried us where we stood.
Broiled in a lava flow, squashed by Super Mario,
Didn't make my saving throw against lawful good.

Thirty zillion space machines blowning up in cut scenes,
I actually found a way to die in Myst.
Ninja swords decapitate, plasma guns obliterate,
Pocket nukes annihilate, reboot, transubstantiate.

Dead again,
Inching ahead until once more I choke,
Dead again,
The funeral bills would leave my whole state broke,
Dead again,
Something is trying to chew off both my legs,
Dead again,
Who in the hell dreams up these easter eggs?

Dead again,
All of the guys at work think I'm a freak,
Dead again,
They watch golf and NASCAR every week,
Dead again,
They'll never understand what I call fun,
Dead again,
'Cause any of my lives is cooler than their one.
Track Name: Possible Oscar and Insane Ian - If I Had a Rocket Launcher
If I had a rocket launcher (If I had a rocket launcher)
Well, I'd pwn me some n00bs (I would pwn me some n00bs)
And if I had a rocket launcher (If I had a rocket launcher)
I'd pwn n00bs universally in games (Not just in Halo or in Call of Duty)
And if I had a rocket launcher (If I had a rocket launcher)
Well, I'd beat all of my games (And probably some of your games as well)
And if I had a rocket launcher
I'd win at Pong

If I had a Rocket Launcher (I wouldn't have to cheat anymore)
If I had a Rocket Launcher (Rocket fire would really even the score)
If I had a Rocket Launcher (Maybe I could use a rocket to finally win at Tetris someday)

You know, why do you have to always wait for that one long bar to eliminate four lines and get a tetris? Why can't you just eliminate everything on the screen with a well placed missile?
Yeah, and since it's a Russian game, you can say something clever like..."Dosvidanya, komrade."

If I had a rocket launcher (If I had a rocket launcher)
Well, I'd clear traffic in Frogger (But not clear real traffic, that's cruel)
And if I had a rocket launcher (If I had a rocket launcher)
Well, I'd exterminate in Centipede (Yep, sauté mushrooms or that spider)
And if I had a rocket launcher (If I had a rocket launcher)
Well, I'd win in John Madden's games (Ooh, put some heat on my shotgun pass)
And if I had a rocket launcher
I'd fry Q*bert!

If I had a rocket launcher (defeating Pokémon isn't hard)
If I had a rocket launcher (Got me a heat seeking Charizard)
If I had a rocket launcher (I wouldn't have to use that blue shell)

But we'd still use the blue shell.
Of course we would.
But we'd use the blue shell to deflect the missiles.
Uh huh.
Or use the missiles to deflect the blue shell.
I just hate how when you're in first place and you launch it you knock yourself out if first place.

If I had a rocket launcher (Instead of a fire flower)
Well, I'd fry me a goomba (but not a real goomba, that's cruel)
And if I had a rocket launcher (or the Triforce of Power)
Well, I'd rescue the princess (Peach, Zelda or Pauline)
And if I had a rocket launcher (If I had a rocket launcher)
Well, I'd take out an ape named Donkey (Haven't you always hated that monkey?)
And if I had a rocket launcher
I'd beat Bowser!

If I had a Rocket Launcher (If I had a Rocket Launcher)
If I had a Rocket Launcher (If I had a Rocket Launcher)
If I had a Rocket Launcher (If I had a Rocket Launcher)
You'd be dead
Track Name: Filler
It’s Wednesday evening
The votes are in, the journey ends for one
Seacrest is scheming
He seems to draw the process out for fun
By ones or twos
The singers will discover if they made it
Let’s start with you
We’ll find out if you’re bottom three or safe
After this break

There’s too much filler
Filler now
How many times can Seacrest
Pick a fight with Simon Cowell
You know it’s filler
Filler now
Great, Paula’s babbling on
Will someone kill her
Filler tonight

It’s 60 minutes
But only three of those are worth the time
The rest is filled up
With content guaranteed to numb your mind
Recap last night
The day before is so hard to remember
Pre-packaged sights
What inane crap has occupied their week?
We fell asleep

There’s too much filler
Filler now
Make sure you plug the film
Cause Fox is hoping for a crowd, yeah
Filler
Filler now
Great, Paula’s babbling now
Will someone kill her
Filler tonight

Everyone sing
The big medley’s a trainwreck from start to end
And don’t forget there’s a group video still in store
(Sponsored by Ford)
We’re irreversibly bored

We’re near the end now
It’s time to make the loser hit the bricks
Read the results now
I’m getting rather sick and tired of this
A sad farewell
I swear I shouldn’t watch this as it happens
Note to myself
To TiVo this and skip right through the fluff
I’ve seen enough

There’s too much filler
Filler now
Now Paula seems confused
Simon and Randy look astounded
Filler
Filler now
She’s really said enough
Please someone
Kill her, will ya, pill her
Filler here tonight

Cause this is filler
Filler now
Please someone cut her mic
So we don’t have to hear her make sound
Filler
Filler now
No really, shut her up
Please someone
KIll her, filler

There’s too much filler tonight

Thousands tried to make the show
But there could be just twenty-four
Of that lot just twelve would stay
To sing upon our brand-new stage
And then some wise exec opined
Let’s show results for twice the time
No doubt the viewers would be pleased
To watch us for two hours a week

And should two hours not suffice
We’ll program Idol every night
You’ll watch them sleep and eat their food
With cameras strapped to forks and spoons
Although the ratings have dropped off
We’re still a ratings winner
So while it’s meant to show more ads
We know you’ll watch the filler